Captain Coincidence Chapter 15

Captain Cowinkydink had had some time off. Yeah, some 'funny' stuff had gone on. 'Things' happen right? Is it worth broadcasting? Never, really. But...some things just stood out. Captain Kerwonkydonk had this feeling that the less likely things were to happen, the more likely they were to happen...not like the lottery or something useful, but more mundane stuff barely even worth a mention.

Captain Kewwhatdaflip had been watching a new quiz thingy which had a load of wrong but plausible answers, and one of those wrong but plausible answers was that Thursday was the day of the week, the letters of which could be rearranged to make the longest single word....or something which made better sense than I've just written.

The actual truth was that Monday was the day of the week, the letters of which could be rearranged to make the longest single word, that being 'dynamo', in case you're interested.

All well and good. 

Captain Cowibblywobbly's sleepy-sleeps procedure involves putting on bubblegum TV, because dark, quiet rooms promote the consideration of cold, stark realities not conducive to the advent of sleepy-peepeys at all....not at all.

This night's such bubblegum TV was "8 out of 10 cats does Countdown". It's a bit of fun. At each commercial break, we're invited to solve a 'tea-time teaser'; an anagram and a clue. One of these had been "A shy turd", and the clue was "It happens but once a week."

"What a coincidence!", thought Captain Coincidence, and slid off to the land of Nod, safe in the knowledge that the girl from the Addams family was called Wednesday, not Thursday. 

Announcing Britain's most amusing town name results.

Throbbington Coxford St. John on the Thomas has once again edged out Wankstone Bishop in the annual Britain's most amusing town name competition. Council leader Anne Spaffingly-Fappleton-Smithe representing Throbbingtin Coxford St. John on the Thomas, received the accolade on behalf of the parish, downplaying its importance in the overall scheme of things, while the mayor of Wankstone Bishop, Bartholomew Chickenchoke was once again at great pains to point out that Throbbington Coxford St. John on the Thomas was technically a village, since it has no town hall or 24 hour public conveniences.

The publicity drawn from the victory is said to be worth literally hundreds of pounds to local businesses, although replacing the town sign comes with an annual bill of tens of thousands of pounds. 

Amazing but true 17

The whale is by far the largest of the wading birds. Environmental changes over millions of years have resulted in evolutional repurposing of their limbs. Their wings, rarely used even in their prime, have become like flippers, propelling them gracefully through the depths, while their long slender legs remain - just very, very tiny.

Sometimes likened to fish and often laughably referred to as mammals, whales, and in particular the blue whale, distant cousin of the blue tit, are the true kings of the bird kingdom. 

Even larger, some say, than the elephant. 

Captain Coincidence Episode 14

Captain Coincidence had been discussing the flat earth society and the use of theodolites to measure the curvature of the Earth. Captain Coincidence had only just mentioned the occupation with which you would normally associate a theodolite, but his brain farted and he forgot it when he next came to mention it. Stuck on a long "errrrrrm....", Captain Coincidence was forced to ask which occupation you would normally associate a theodolite with.
The conversation ended with a slurp of tea and the requirement of a fibre washer for some plumbing - this being another story all together.
Later, stuffed to the gills with Chinese food (which might raise some interesting questions as to Captain Coincidence's species), Captain Coincidence was watching 'Who wants to be a millionaire?', as the participant pondered the £250,000 question - that being "With which occupation would you normally associate the use of a theodolite?"
"What a coincidence!", thought Captain Coincidence.

Captain Coincidence Episode 13

Captain Coincidence was working out a little cosmetic lick on the guitar.
(He plays guitar, like me!)
(But better.)
"Hmm. That sounds like a thing!", he epiphanised. "That sounds just like the lick in Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight!"
An episode of Friends was ambling by on the TV - the one where Monica proposes to Chandler.
(If it's not called that, it should be.)
(He thought.)
But it could just as well be called "The one where Monica and Chandler dance to Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton at the end.", which happened just 10 seconds or so after he had epiphanated.
"That there, is what some might refer to as a coincidence!", thought Captain Coincidence.

Captain Coincidence Episode 12

Yesterday, the hosts of "I'm a celebrity, extra camp" were lampooning Nick Knowles' barked commands during a boating challenge, by comparing him to Ross Geller when he was barking commands at Chandler and Rachel to "Pivot!" while maneuvering a sofa.
Hilarity in shoes.
We all fell about!
Anyway, today, I was watching the twice daily 'Friends' reruns on channel 4, and...well, you can probably guess the rest.

...that's right! The episode featuring the Ross/"Pivot!" scenario played out, and you can probably guess the rest.

...that's right! "What a coincidence!", thought Captain Coincidence.

Captain Coincidence Episode 11

"My!", thought Captain Coincidence, "that tumble dryer has been running a long time!", exactly as it stopped.
"What a", thought Captain Coincidence, "coincidence!", thought Captain Coincidence.