Tiffany Porter is a very religious woman. She presumably prayed for qualification before taking part in the 100 metres hurdles semifinal at the Rio Olympics. She came fourth, thus not qualifying automatically, but fast enough to put her in contention for qualification as one of the fastest losers; which in itself makes you wonder about her god's opinion of her. But hey! It's probably part of the plan, right?
The subsequent and last semifinal race featured her sister. We were told by the commentatress that, as a religious woman, Tiffany would be praying for the right result, which quite specifically would involve her sister qualifying automatically but with the fastest losers losing with a slower time than her own...
Remember, this outcome would be determined by a god which just 5 minutes previously answered her qualification prayers for qualification with fourth place.
As it happens, her second prayers were answered with remarkable accuracy. But then, this is god, and I would imagine precision is a key part of the job.
So I don't know what happened there.
Was her god punishing her for a minor misdemeanour? Something which just needed a swift correction.
"You're grounded! Not really." - that kind of thing.
Or maybe there were better prayerers in that lineup. Maybe that god has favourites. Better in that lineup, but not as good as in the subsequent heat, presumably.
Maybe that god took it's eye off the ball for a second while dealing with this homeless person's prayer, or that warzone child's prayer, or that scared mother's prayer.
I just wonder if she should be wasting god's time with such trivial stuff.
She should wait till the final!
Jordy's world commentary
The articles contained here will be a combination of observation, satire and sheer fiction. None of this content should be considered representitive of my core principles or beliefs, and none of it will ever be intended to offend, but deception, parody and crudity will be in evidence. Should you find yourself taking offence, you must exercise your right to seek entertainment elsewhere.
Wednesday, 17 August 2016
Porter has blues.
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