Cow punching

So...it's like this. I figure if Rex Hunt can do it, then I've got a bloody ripper on me hands: Cow Punching.
Discovery is going to snatch this up....

Cow Punching

Fishing.
It's the most popular sport on the planet, right? Catching a fish by it's mouth on a barbed hook, then dragging it against it's will to the surface, yanking it from the water which it requires for breath, watching it gulping at impossible air and flapping around in distress, claiming that it doesn't hurt and they're too dumb to get stressed. Chuckling at how it wriggles, saying stuff like "Ha! you're a feisty little feller ain'tcha?!" and kissing it, bellowing "Yabbadabbadoo", or similar, and throwing it back so it can experience the same hell again and again.
With that in mind, picture this scene:
So, you've got this bearded (optional) chap who chases a cow around a field with a lasso. He catches it by the neck and snaps the loop suffocation-tight with a flick of the wrist. As he pulls it close, he punches his bovine quarry to the ground and holds it's head in a bucket of water. It struggles for breath while our hero - laughing - compliments it on being a "spirited feller". As the body goes limp - and herein lies the art, like fanning a fading flame - he pulls it's head from the bucket, kisses it full on the nose, smacks it on the backside with his palm..and off it runs, bucking and snorting, for the process to happen time and time again. Now, that's sport!
In subsequent weeks, we introduce celebrities, or a local specialist with distinguished honours in the field of cow punching...with, perhaps, a story of how his (or her) father punched forty cows to the ground in a single afternoon back in the heady '20s.
...I televise it, and broadcast it to millions.
It's a winner!